I feel that I need to say this because people misunderstand me and take me for a bitch. I don’t respond well to compliments or statements that require some sincere/intellectual response. For one, because I blank out most of time or I get too nervous to deliver an answer and I end up just saying “Okay.” It’s not that I don’t have anything better to say, I just can’t bring myself to spit out all the things I want to say. Trust me, I have a lot on my mind. What basically goes through my head, for example when someone asks for an opinion of something, is a build up of words to describe what’s good/bad. I can see elements that I can only understand for myself and would be useless to describe it to others.
The anxiety of delivering causes a system overload and then crash….the backup system then generates the simplest of words “Cool,” then Zoooonnneee out. Same thing goes for when someone asks me how I am feeling or when I receive a compliment, all that comes out is “Okay” or “Uhhhh….alright, I guess.”
I’m very reserve when it comes to certain things because I choose to be to avoid embarrassing myself. I don’t like vocalizing opinions; when I do, I feel awkward, say too much, stutter, and get lost in my words. I’d rather write or type it. I’m a Nervous Wreck.
The funny thing is it’s only when I’m pissed off I can say everything really fast non-stop.
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People who intimidate me intrigue me the most. I have this weird attraction to them.
But i love it when you rant. It’s always amusing. haha
